Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
