just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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