I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
