dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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