Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
