pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
