Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
