Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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