Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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