After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
