just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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