i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
