I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
