dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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