My first STD was from a foam party
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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