Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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