Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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