every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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