I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i came on her dog
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman