everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.