Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet