I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.