I just pynch a tree in the face
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
