I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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