i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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