i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
