Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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