Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
we're so committed to being not committed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
