i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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