How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh god it's open bar.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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