I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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