Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
