we have officially lost it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We left the knife in your bed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
