an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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