so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
