every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
