When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
