Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
