It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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