yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
