If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
