there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I pour the whiskey from now on