I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Some milfs here doing some blow
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.