Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?