oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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