I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
