He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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