gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
do nipples grow back?
Randomize