Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize