I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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