I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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