Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
