You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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