i would punch a child for taco bell
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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