Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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