And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
