I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize