I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
