Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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