Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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