youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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