note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize