Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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