I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You pole danced in your parka.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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